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Into The Woods (2012)

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Ava Brunini as Stacy: "Can someone please get me out of this movie?"

At a glance:
Hadrian Hooks: "Just do it. Don't let anyone stop you."
We judge the player based on the play and this movie review blog is all about lookin out for respectable indie efforts that might otherwise just pass under the radar. That bein said, in this age of technology, too many movies have been made just because they could. I'm still reelin from havin sat through Money Shot (2013) the other day and now find myself endurin debut writer-director Hadrian Hooks' Into The Woods (2012), a labour of love that must mean a lot to him, as you can deduce from a rather frank interview with the man, who sounds like a nice enough fella. Completed quite some time ago and havin recently found DVD/VOD release, it's a horror-by-numbers shoestring project, about a group of friends who take up a bet to spend a night in the murderous woods of Hollywood Hills.
Bad news on the doorstep:
How we might be persuaded to watch the DVD.
While its low production values are apparent, especially considerin the limited funds at disposal for productions such as these, Into The Woods is not a place worth goin, largely due to a completely unremarkable story with little or no payoff at all. After one has forgiven all the poor angles, bad lightin and banal dialogue, it's still difficult to even remotely care for these cardboard characters who never say or do anythin interestin. Shoot me dead, they ain't even memorable enough to be dislikeable! Characters make up the all-important cinegredient that usually elevates any zero-budget horror flick to a level of respectable fun, whatever its compendium of shortcomings. Sadly, the pedestrian actors prove fatal to the enjoyment of the movie, so I hope Hooks starts from a better place should he decide to have another go at it in the future.
Perennial wonderment:
INTO THE WOODS HADRIAN HOOKS
So painfully amateur.

When will the necessarily unintelligent people in horror movies stop queuin up to be slaughtered like helpless lambs?
I can't remember if I cried:
Yep. Precisely how I feel about the movie.
When I realised the movie's villain is hardly ever seen (not just due to the bad lightin), heard or explained.
Most memorable line:
The only moment in the movie with some semblance of originality is when Laila Odom's character says that black people don't go into the woods and that it's a white people thing.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
It hardly meets the minimum advertisin expectations I set for it after seein the poster. One of the few positives from the movie is that it's really short. Sorry mate, nothin here. So jog on.1/2
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