Chop (2011)

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"Work it out. Let's work it the fuck out."
At a glance:
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Low-budget indie slasher with oddball humour, a directorial debut by accomplished C-movie actor Trent Haaga (Jessicka Rabid, 2009). We follow the afflicted Lance Reed (multi-hyphenate self-starter Will Keenan a.k.a Billy Bakshi, Tromeo & Juliet, 1996) as he hitchhikes with the wrong psycho (Timothy Muskatell) and is taken on a Saw (2004)-like nightmare to confront his duplicitous past. Is his Indian wife (Tanisha Mukerji) havin extramarital anal sex with his half-brother Bobby (Chad Ferrin) behind his errr... back? Is there an unlikely followup to the skanky whore he shortchanged for a ten-dollar blowjob in the car a long time ago? Doesn't really matter. Lance is bein systematically dismembered bit by bit. With two police detectives (Tamil T. Rhee and the movie's scriptwriter Adam Minarovich) closin in on him, he must figure out what exactly is his captor's game before he loses it all.
Bad news on the doorstep:
For a movie with such determination, it surprisingly fizzles out in the last third and culminates in a completely anti-climactic payoff. Will Keenan carries the show but his comic timin gets no help from the weary screenplay. I think maybe they should've gone all the way OTT instead of recoilin tongue-in-cheek every time they set things up. The tension was missin half the time.
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"You are a cheap ass motherfucker who only pays 10 fuckin dollars
for a blowjob in the goddamn parking lot!"
I can't remember if I cried:
Like I said, the endin. I believe maybe even no endin was better than that endin.
Watch out for:
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Riskin life & limb.
Would've liked to see more of newcomer Malaya Manson and a trashy Elina Madison (Someone's Knocking At The Door, 2009) who plays a crack ho in this movie. However, the one everyone wants to see catch a glimpse of is undoubtedly Camille Keaton from I Spit On Your Grave (1978) who seems to be makin a comeback with a couple of cameos here and there. Mike Long at DVD Sleuth notes there is a four-minute deleted scene featurin the scream queen on the DVD and that it was actually interestin, not that would have saved the movie but interestin nonetheless. They should've left it in and cut out some of the more redundant parts because I still can't find the damned scene, even after gettin some helpful directions from the people who run the Facebook fan page for the movie.
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Malaya Manson & Timothy Muskatell
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Brett Gallman over at Oh, The Horror! appreciated it bein "gruesome and short, two things that are mightily appealing whenever you’re dealing with something that’s basically an extended joke with a bad punch line." It's a peculiar movie that now invokes a strange curiosity in me towards amputee porn. Watch at your own risk.
Bonus material:
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Director Trent Haaga framin Will Keenan with Elina Madison.
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