Rock Of Ages (2012)

ROCK OF AGES Alec Baldwin Catherine Zeta-Jones Julianne Hough Malin Åkerman musical Russell Brand Tom Cruise
At a glance:
Never seen the Broadway act but in the hands of the very gay Hairspray director Adam Shankman, Rock Of Ages became a full-on camp musical, sorta like New Line Cinema's feature-length Glee for homosexual, hair metal has-beens. Must've been watchin all the wrong trailers because I thought it was Rock Star (2001) with just a smatterin of Burlesque (2010). The chosen material is actually not so much glam as it is rock ballad staples like Poison, Foreigner, Journey and Def Leppard. I'm such a sellout. I enjoyed it. The story? Well, the year is 1987 and we follow starry-eyed Sherrie (Julianne Hough, Footloose, 2011), who arrives in Hollywood and meets rock wannabe Drew (lead role upstart Diego Boneta) in the Bourbon Room, a monumental community center for sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.
ROCK OF AGES Alec Baldwin Catherine Zeta-Jones Julianne Hough Malin Åkerman musical Russell Brand sex
"Hey do you mind if I join a boy band?"
Bad news on the doorstep:
The two leads have a shaky start but wore less clothes, got more comfortable and generally got better as the show progressed, although this might remind you of the Piper Perabo-Adam Garcia romance in Coyote Ugly (2000) a little too much. Don't quite care for Russell Brand, who was too conscious of himself but even he got better. Not happy with Mary J. Blige in a token black presence but this was included, as well as a lot of unconvincin emotional downtime.
Perennial wonderment:
ROCK OF AGES Alec Baldwin Catherine Zeta-Jones Julianne Hough Malin Åkerman musical Russell Brand Tom Cruise sex melayu 3gp tudung asrama tetek besar
Tom Cruise may well be a seriously weird guy in real life with that Scientology shyte but he's really got presence when it comes to movies. Here, he seems to be truly enjoyin himself as the spectacle that is the incoherent, sex-dripped rock god Stacee Jaxx, modelled after Keith Richards, Axl Rose and Jim Morrison, says the director. Caked in makeup like one of the unholy reincarnations from his Lestat character in Interview With The Vampire (1994), his signature move involves placin one hand on a woman's bosom and talkin about risin phoenixes (?) as he stares them down into helpless submission, not that I imagine we can use this trick today in some downtown bar. Co-star Malin Åkerman (Watchmen, 2009) gets quite a romp with him as his reluctant love interest Constance Sack (what a name!) and you can read in interviews how she only has pure adulation for him. Cruise reportedly sang his own songs (all the cast members did too, it seems) but I'm not part of the consensus that says he aced it. The unforgivably clean, poster boy rendition of Bon Jovi's cowboy classic Wanted Dead Or Alive had my eyes rollin - but damn did it look good in the trailer!

Most memorable number:
ROCK OF AGES Alec Baldwin Catherine Zeta-Jones Julianne Hough Malin Åkerman musical Russell Brand Tom Cruise tetek besar seks melayu asrama kampung ustazah kongkek pantat ketat
My favourite item!
Catherine Zeta-Jones rendition of Pat Benatar's 1979 gem Hit Me With Your Best Shot does it for me. All that high-kickin, shoulder-turnin action really got me goin. Additionally, I read that there's a strip dance to the Scorpions' Rock You Like A Hurricane in a scene between Stacee and Sherrie that was left on the cuttin room floor but will feature in the DVD.
ROCK OF AGES Alec Baldwin Catherine Zeta-Jones Julianne Hough Malin Åkerman musical Russell Brand Tom Cruise tetek besar seks melayu asrama kampung ustazah kongkek pantat ketat
Malin Akerman
Watch out for:
Cameos by Extreme's Nuno Bettencourt, REO Speedwago's Kevin Cronin, Skid Row's Sebastian Bach and even 80s darlin Debbie Gibson, though I can't bloody spot her. Also, this movie also contains the most FUBAR gay kiss in recent times. Watch it to find out who and who. By the way, here's Warner's official website for Rock Of Ages if you wanna check it out.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Clockin some 122 minutes,
Rock Of Ages still felt terribly fluffy and fleetin to me. Reviewer Peter Howell notes that as he demonstrated with the early 1960s homage Hairspray, Shankman is really only interested in how his films look, sound and feel, not whether they actually say anythin - his mantra is the three Cs: colourful, cute and campy. However, it is a movie that knows what it is and it'll always be hard to hate. What can you do but rock on? ★★★
Bonus material:
ROCK OF AGES Alec Baldwin Catherine Zeta-Jones Julianne Hough Malin Åkerman musical Russell Brand Tom Cruise tetek besar seks melayu asrama kampung ustazah kongkek pantat ketat
For my video on how to disgust Joan Jett, check this out.
Photo taken 18 May 2012, AMC Yonge & Dundas, Toronto.

Share this article :
 
Copyright © Sayang Wayang - All Rights Reserved
Proudly powered by Blogger