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Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)

LESBIAN VAMPIRE SUCKERS MASSAGE SPA SPECIAL DISCOUNT
Lesbian Vampire Killers: Does what it says on the tin.

At a glance:
Girls, gore and garlic. Horror-comedy hardly comes more enjoyable (and forgettable) than the aptly-titled Lesbian Vampire Killers, which does what it says on the tin over and over again for almost 90 hollow minutes with no attempt at any sort of lastin cinematic memory, unless you count the intended DVD release (which will no doubt be an item of guilty indulgence). A holiday weekend in Wales for British TV's Gavin and Stacey James Corden and Matthew Horne turns into a bloodsuckin bonanza of Sapphic sirens, the order of the day in a remote village where every young girl turns into a vampire on their 18th birthday. Jimmy (Horne) is here because he's tryin hard to get over his impossibly difficult girlfriend Judy (Lucy Gaskell) and Fletch (Corden) tags along because he's just been fired as a promo clown. It ain't long before they magically meet four hotass visitin foreign students - Heidi, Trudi (Scotland's Mulheron sisters Tiffany and Ashley), Lotte (MyAnna Buring, pic, left, The Descent) and Anke (Louise Dylan). Throw in a vampire-killin vicar (Paul McGann, Withnail And I) and Queen Vampire Carmilla (beautiful Silvia Colloca, pic, right) and you get an adventure fit for slackers, pervos and mind-numbed teens who'd pay good money to sit through any poor excuse of a plot just to see what these characters will do to one another.
Bad news on the doorstep:
Completely forgettable, like I said.
Reminds me of:
Wong Jing's The Vampire Who Admires Me. Same formula. Yum yum.
Amacam joker, berapa bintang lu mau kasi?
Stylised B-grade feature with great special effects deservin of a more important movie. Most critics reviewed this negatively as a missed opportunity, considerin its promisin title and cross-genre appeal. It has one or two laugh-out-loud moments of crude humour but mostly it's a passin popcorn movie. More tits could've saved it, really.★★1/2 
Bonus material:
SEXY VAMPIRE KILLERS
Happier times.

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